I’ve got a serious question I need help on…

Dear readers,

I need help sorting this out….very upset..
I have never asked for this type of help before, but I really need your advice.

I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been cheating on me.
The usual signs; phone rings but if I answer, the caller hangs up. My
wife has been going out with ‘the girls’ a lot recently although when I
ask their names she always says, “just some friends from work, you don’t
know them.”

I try to stay awake and look out for her when she comes home, but I
usually fall asleep. Anyway, I have never broached the subject with my
wife. I think deep down I just did not want to know the truth, but last
night she went out again and I decided to finally check on her.

Around midnight, I hid in the garage behind my LX150 so I could get
a good view of the whole area when she arrived home from a night out
with ‘the girls.’

When she got out of the car she was buttoning up her blouse, which was
open, and she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on.
It was at this moment, crouching behind my Vespa, that I noticed the “LX 150″ badge on the rear right cowl is gone.

The Vespa was brand new in July 08, do you think this is still covered under warranty?

[edit: After a couple very kind emails, I feel that I should state that my wife is not actually cheating on me, nor do I suspect she is. It's just a joke. Ha ha. Funny, get it?]

[2nd edit: Also, I want to give credit to jwhcowan at modernvespa because I shameless stole his joke.]

Just watch it.

For some reason that I cannot fathom, this video just plain doesn’t want to show up in a wordpress post. I thought there was something wonky with the post, so I deleted it and created a new one. Still didn’t want to show up. Ok, maybe it’s not enabled by YouTube for embedding. Nope. 

So fuck it. Here’s a link, and you can just click on it like it was 1996. It’s worth the effort though, it’s the best operatic Lego machinima recreation of the best scene in Silence of the Lambs I’ve ever seen.

I swear.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iPnQ77a1UVk

He’s good enough, he’s smart enough, and gosh-darn it, fuck Ann Coulter.

Its seems the Minnesota State Canvassing Board, whose job it is to settle squabbles over chairs between fully grown men, has declared that it has certified the recount in the senate race between incumbent Middle-aged White Guy #1 and Middle-aged White Guy #2. Middle-aged White Guy #2 being Al Franken.

In the spirit of celebration, here’s a clip of the man himself skewering Ms. Coulter at The Connecticut Forum.

I’m sick in the head, but I can see why one might want to hate fuck her like Chloe Metz.

-via CNN

Never lick a copy machine

Also, Disko and Flower… Dont lick your coffee table for the same reason. Or the hood of your Acura. Or your mom’s face.

It’s this kind of thing that make me want to own a (legal and registered) handgun.

Plainclothes “Law Enforcement Officers” in Galveston mistook a 12-year-old black girl playing on her front lawn for an adult white prostitute for whom they had an arrest warrant and without identifying themselves grabbed the girl, called her a “whore” and assaulted her, in the process giving her black eyes as well as larynx and ear drum injuries.

Rather than admitting that a mistake was made, the LEOs then went to the girl’s school, where she was an honor student and arrested her for resisting (false) arrest and assaulting a public servant.

The presiding judge then declared a mistrial on the first day (a case of the fox protecting the henhouse if there ever was one). Lets see if we can figure out where the LEOs went wrong.

1) Failure to appropriatly identify themselves as police officers.
2)Failure to verify the address prior to initiating entry.
3) Failure to know details of the “subject(s) they were looking for.
4) Upon discovery they were at the wrong address, failure to release those in custody (aka False Imprisionment)
5) Witness intimidation along with False Arrest for the second arrest for allegedly “assaulting police”.

In case any of you threw up in your mouth a little bit like I did, and want to do something about it, here is some handy contact information.

The piece of shit lawyer defending the LEOs:

bill.helfand@chamberlainlaw.com
1200 Smith Street
14th Floor
Houston, TX 77002-4310
TEL: 713.654.9630
FAX: 713.658.2553

The Chief of Police for Galveston:
Chief Wiley
Cwiley@cityofgalveston.org
TEL: 409-765-3790

And the names of the LEOs themselves as listed in  CIVIL ACTION NO. 08-193
SERGEANT GILBERT GOMEZ [BADGE #987],
OFFICERS DAVID ROARK [BADGE #332],
JUSTIN POPOVICH [BADGE #336], AND
SEAN STEWART [BADGE #392],

In the words of Atmosphere – “If I see you as a threat to my seedling or my sibling I will die to pull the plug on your machine.”

Or in the words of NWA – “Fuck the Police”

Modern Trials Riding

Me: Yeah, I think I’m going to see if I can find a trials bike on Craigslist.

My ravishingly intelligent and sexually alluring wife: You’re funny.

Some politics on a peaceful Sunday afternoon.

How spiteful is that? Let Ms. Shirley know what you think of that shit.

Dear People of the World

This despicable woman refused to give candy to children who supported Obama. Only to little kids backing Mc Cain/Palin

Please spend a dollar and a stamp to send her a nice little card or letter with your exact opinion, mincing no words.

Please do not send her anything destructive. 

Let her know the power of the internet and blogging.

Thanks

Below is address.

Shirley Nagel

465 Belanger St.

Grosse Pointe Farms MI, 48236

And while we are on the political train, I saw this October suprise at about 2 am this morning. Bonus: at 4:49 into the clip you can hear Palin hand off the phone to an aide and say “I’m so fucked…”.

Congratulations Palin, youre the pitiful, comedic footmark in Presidential Politics for the new millenium.

We have it so easy.

“Bullies are cowards: Time and time again, when people have awakened to danger and risen together to confront those who have sought to oppress them, citizens in their thousands have crumbled walls and broken open massive prisons. In our own nation, in times of eclipse, patriots have become rebels again and said: “No; the nation is not going down, not on my watch.”
When that happens, there is no power that can hold these patriots back.”

-Naomi Wolf

Happy Global Anti-Piracy Day

Have you all visited The Pirate Bay today? Methinks Bill wants to cash in on the pirate day phenomenon.

[via Torrentfreak]

Claymation Chess

Yeah, I know it’s kinda lame for a first post back after such a long hiatus, but I thought this was just way too cool. Takes me back to when I was a kid with a single frame camcorder and hot wheels chase movies.

Good times.